Kids Without Friends

My 10-year-old son started a new middle school this year and met with some new kids. Although he had good friendships in his primary school, he couldn’t make friends for two months. Fortunately, his class has recently changed and he made a close friend in his new class. His situation urged me to research the reasons why a kid cannot make any friends and how we parents can help him/her to socialize.

  • Kids might not know how to make friends.

Sometimes kids might not know how to act in a new environment or how to meet with new friends. Therefore new environments scare them. As in my own kid’s situation, he didn’t want to go to school. I tried to share my own experiences with my kid. It is really important to understand kid’s feelings and ensure him/her that he/she is not the only person who experiences this problem.

  • Kids might have self-confidence problem.

Kids having self-confidence problem also have difficulty to make friends. These kids always abstain due to the fear of meeting with some bad consequences. Therefore the reason of their self-confidence problem should be determined and then the problem of making friends will be solved automatically. And we should always encourage our kids and praise them with the things they do well.

  • The kid might have seen a serious problem in his/her environment.

Most of the time we have to check the environment where our kids have problems of making friends and determine the obstacles there. Sometimes other kids might tag your kid names and this might embarrass him/her. We should observe the environment and act accordingly.

  • The parents might be over-protecting.

Some parents have always fear of having their kids harmed by other people and they obstruct their kids to enter different environments. These kids are irritated to meet with new people by time. If we have been over-protecting before, we can talk with our kids that it was a mistake of us and encourage them to socialize more.

  • The kid might consider the other kids around him not proper for himself / herself.

Sometimes the kids might be more mature than their peers and not making friends might be their own choice. In this case, it is not possible to interfere with the problem. Because the kid might think his/her parents do not give importance to his / her choices. If he / she continues to not making friends, it will be better to have some expert help.

If you’re an extrovert, you probably can’t figure out why it’s so difficult for others to meet and make friends with new people. But we should be aware of our environment and don’t forget introvert people who feel as if there is a wall between themselves and the fun experiences that others are having. Please share if you have any similar experiences or comments about it.


Photo by charamelody (Flickr)

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